If this is the case, she definitely can be reprogrammed and awakened. I recall reading a talk from Elder Nelson in which he indicated that the church teaches general principles and does not spend time teaching exceptions to general principles. It's called selfishness and inability to set priorities. That contributes to status in her culture. What you described, just being in each other's presence, sounds perfect. I have finally learned to pray to change my heart, not his. But I got to my breaking point, and after not hearing from him AT ALL for seven days at this point we had been dating and sleeping together for months.
At that point we quit going and focused on her goals and family bonding. He had no idea what he was getting himself into. If you aren't sealed together, say good-bye for eternity. Her attempts to convert you will get stronger and stronger, if you make it clear to her that you will not under any circumstances convert, she'll bounce.
It's in the Mormon DNA. They are always dressed in decent clothing, and the same is expected of their date. I understand your internal conflict completely and my heart goes out to you. Why Mormons don't drink wine or coffee. Does your new girlfriend have eight brothers and sisters. The Church encourages people to be a good influence on one another, and she will probably expect you to dress well for her.
But it is luck of the draw. This makes them overwhelmingly successful wives and mothers. If your relationship has gotten very serious, your girlfriend will probably try to find agreement in your faiths.