Gender is a spectrum, which means that between and outside of the constructs of male and female, there exists an entire range of gender identities. As you might have noticed, gender essentialism is terribly sexist and does not reflect the many realities of the human experience, even for cisgender people. There are also those who do not identify as male or female at all. There are those of us who exist somewhere along the spectrum, not identifying with our birth gender but not necessarily identifying very strongly with any other gender, either. To be nonbinary is to identify as other than male or female: as multiple genders at once pangender or bigender , as neither agender , as androgynous androgyne , etc. When a nonbinary individual is sexual, every act can be charged with the personal and political. Almost the entirety of our understandings of sex — from the media to sex ed to our love songs and how tos — involves bodies gendered along the binary. I want to speak about sex beyond the binary as it applies to being a nonbinary sexual individual, or being sexual with a nonbinary individual, but I want to note that we all can benefit from a sexual understanding that transcends gender essentialism. Raised a woman, I was taught that sex is to serve cis men.
The Body Is Not an Apology
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On December 17, Tumblr banned adult content on their platform. The move was rumored to be a knee-jerk response to Apple removing Tumblr from its App Store over failing to adequately filter out child pornography. While that is certainly an understandable and valid reason for removing the app, instead of improving their filtering system, Tumblr decided to ban all adult content altogether. In doing so, they destroyed a massive social media community and outlet where people, especially underrepresented communities, could freely express their sexuality. I was one of those people. I was in the midst of ending a sexless and passionless marriage, and while I never took much pleasure in sex anyway, I knew others did, which gave me a resounding and incessant urge to find out what I was missing. But how would I even start? What turned me on? How would I find it and articulate it not just to myself, but to a partner?
TransIsBeautiful is a hashtag started by Laverne Cox black transgender woman actor commonly known for Orange is the New Black and one of the first series regular trans character in now canceled Doubt. Laverne Cox started the hashtag transisbeautiful after posing nude in a photo shoot. Her goal was to be authentic; show her body and her beauty. Trans bodies are beautiful. This is a safe blog created for celebrating the beauty of persons of all gender identities. Trans is an umbrella term that is inclusive of, but not limited to nor forced upon persons assigned male at birth amab , assigned female at birth afab , non binary enby , agender, bigender, gender queer, trans men, trans women, etc. Please do not follow or reblog.