Judaism is generally very positive about sex, regarding it as a divine gift and a holy obligation — both for the purposes of procreation and for pleasure and intimacy. The Talmud specifies not merely that a husband is required to be intimate with his wife, but sources also indicate that he is obliged to sexually satisfy her. Instead, sexual activity is highly circumscribed in Jewish tradition, as the rabbis of the Talmud sought to use the human libido as a tool for increasing the population and strengthening marriage. Traditional Jewish law not only prohibits many types of sexual relationships, but it also dictates specific parameters even for permitted ones. And while Judaism is broadly permissive when it comes to sex between married adults, the same is not true for sexual activity outside of a committed relationship.
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Oral sex has been an obsession of mine. Now the crazy Kallah teacher told my wife it is a big 'aveyra', and one can go blind. I held back all these years because of 'pas b'saloh'. But it won't last forever, in spite of all my other advances and accomplishments. This remains a hurdle, and, I fear, only solvable by getting it at home. One that I can show black on white to my wife? That will enable me to counter the 'out of touch with reality' kallah teacher. Whatever it takes, in any showable format. Unfortunately this is of extreme importance to me. It is what it is.
Does Judaism allow extramarital sex?
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are that of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the Union for Traditional Judaism, unless otherwise indicated. The text below is the result of OCR. Although it has already been reviewed, if you identify any errors, kindly email office utj. A scan of the original teshuvah is available here.
Peripheral halachic discussion of the topic revolves upon whether or not a husband may engage in varying sexually-gratifying acts with his wife — including fellatio — performed up to and including a complete extra-vaginal ejaculation. The discussion includes the opinion of the permitting authorities limiting their permit to specific frequencies and timings, the consensus being that any halachic-permit " hetter " is solely applicable within the exclusive framework of a Torah -permitted marital relationship and strictly during the time that one's wife is not in her niddah state. In the original Hebrew text of the Mishneh Torah of Maimonides , as translated by Yosef Qafih , he takes a lenient approach that permits all that a man desires to do with his wife. The presentation omits the customary prohibition on extracting semen in vain , which Qafih quarantines as an addition by a subsequent unknown editor. Maimonides' commentary to the Mishnah likewise hints at a lenient stance. Chazal have in certain instances permitted intentional extra-vaginal ejaculation in tandem with one's wife. It isn't comparable to the action of Er and Onan only if one is accustomed to doing so all the time, but if it is performed on occasion when he desire his wife for non-vaginal relations—it is permitted
